I can’t lie.Â That’s a lie.Â I can lie.
My therapist asked me this last week because I am so honest about my answers to her questions.Â But, I’m not thinking of it as being honest; I think of it as factual.Â Honesty and being literal can be confused to the outside observer.
I have learned the hard way that blunt “truth” is not welcomed in social situations.Â I have learned to keep quiet about most things.Â But, I have learned that if someone has really nice shoes, I say so, and I’m not lying to be socially acceptable, I say it because they really are nice shoes.Â I notice shoes because between my intermittent eye contact, I tend to look down or to the side.Â I notice purses this way too.
“Your directness is so refreshing,” I have heard.Â But, I suspect that is a lie.Â I think it might be a person acting strong in a social situation to save face.Â Where did the saying, “save face” come from?Â I know it means embarrassed or similar.
I have learned that agreement in a social situation is preferred, but I consider that a lie if I disagree or they are incorrect.Â I see people positing another point of view, but when I retort with the facts or additional information, I get a blank stare, and they tend to exclude me.Â Or, I don’t know what to say because I am aware that people didn’t like what I said.
So, I lie by agreeing.Â I lie by withholding additional information.Â I lie by not correcting people.Â I lie by omission.
Can I lie on purpose to get something I want?Â Yes, but hubby and the kids will tell you that I suck at it.