I can’t lie. That’s a lie. I can lie.
My therapist asked me this last week because I am so honest about my answers to her questions. But, I’m not thinking of it as being honest; I think of it as factual. Honesty and being literal can be confused to the outside observer.
I have learned the hard way that blunt “truth” is not welcomed in social situations. I have learned to keep quiet about most things. But, I have learned that if someone has really nice shoes, I say so, and I’m not lying to be socially acceptable, I say it because they really are nice shoes. I notice shoes because between my intermittent eye contact, I tend to look down or to the side. I notice purses this way too.
“Your directness is so refreshing,” I have heard. But, I suspect that is a lie. I think it might be a person acting strong in a social situation to save face. Where did the saying, “save face” come from? I know it means embarrassed or similar.
I have learned that agreement in a social situation is preferred, but I consider that a lie if I disagree or they are incorrect. I see people positing another point of view, but when I retort with the facts or additional information, I get a blank stare, and they tend to exclude me. Or, I don’t know what to say because I am aware that people didn’t like what I said.
So, I lie by agreeing. I lie by withholding additional information. I lie by not correcting people. I lie by omission.
Can I lie on purpose to get something I want? Yes, but hubby and the kids will tell you that I suck at it.