You know if you have autism or Asperger’s if…
1. You can’t have two things on the dinner plate at the same time. Once you are done with the first food, you get a fresh plate.
2. You understand why the X-men are persecuted…because they are different.
3. Fashion is irrelevant.
4. You butter your toast all the way to the edges with an even layer of butter, but only if the toast is freshly out of the toaster. If it gets hard, you have to throw it out.
5. You figure you would be great on a jury because you won’t be swayed by facial expressions or blathering outbursts of emotions.
6. Sensual experiences are rapturous or make you freak out.
7. High-pitched noises hurt.
8. You look at the floor while listing to someone intensely.
9. You look at the floor while thinking how to answer intensely.
10. Foods have to be eaten in order of temperature.
11. When your partner says, “Let’s go out,” you pause, stare at the wall then say, “Why?”
12. Eating the same thing for a week is delightful.
13. Facts ‘R Us
14. “What did you say? I wasn’t listening”
15. “I should change instead of wearing my very soft fleece pajama bottoms to the store??”
16. “When the company comes over, what should I say?” “Be yourself.” “Oh good, I don’t have to talk.”
17. Animals make more sense than people.
18. Why do NTs (neurotypicals) waste their time on small talk when there are so many real things to talk about?
19. I’m frantic when I can’t find my earplugs.
20. I’m waiting for grandchildren so I can love them, educate them on everything, then send them back. I hope my grandkids are aspies and autties so we can really relate.
This idea came from a 1000+ thread on a forum. I won’t use other people’s ideas, so I ask that we create this thread together because I will eventually run out of ideas. If it flies, I’ll publish a compendium weekly. To be included, add to the thread by leaving a comment for next week’s post or sending your ideas to me at firstname.lastname@example.org You can request that your idea has your first name or not.