You know you have autism or Asperger’s if…

You know if you have autism or Asperger’s if…

1. You can’t have two things on the dinner plate at the same time. Once you are done with the first food, you get a fresh plate.

2. You understand why the X-men are persecuted…because they are different.

3. Fashion is irrelevant.

4. You butter your toast all the way to the edges with an even layer of butter, but only if the toast is freshly out of the toaster. If it gets hard, you have to throw it out.

5. You figure you would be great on a jury because you won’t be swayed by facial expressions or blathering outbursts of emotions.

6. Sensual experiences are rapturous or make you freak out.

7. High-pitched noises hurt.

8. You look at the floor while listing to someone intensely.

9. You look at the floor while thinking how to answer intensely.

10. Foods have to be eaten in order of temperature.

11. When your partner says, “Let’s go out,” you pause, stare at the wall then say, “Why?”

12. Eating the same thing for a week is delightful.

13. Facts ‘R Us

14. “What did you say? I wasn’t listening”

15. “I should change instead of wearing my very soft fleece pajama bottoms to the store??”

16. “When the company comes over, what should I say?” “Be yourself.” “Oh good, I don’t have to talk.”

17. Animals make more sense than people.

18. Why do NTs (neurotypicals) waste their time on small talk when there are so many real things to talk about?

19. I’m frantic when I can’t find my earplugs.

20. I’m waiting for grandchildren so I can love them, educate them on everything, then send them back. I hope my grandkids are aspies and autties so we can really relate.

This idea came from a 1000+ thread on a forum.  I won’t use other people’s ideas, so I ask that we create this thread together because I will eventually run out of ideas.  If it flies, I’ll publish a compendium weekly.  To be included, add to the thread by leaving a comment for next week’s post or sending your ideas to me at You can request that your idea has your first name or not.

About Eileen Parker 100 Articles
Support a starving writer, by buying my current book, The Weighted Blanket Guide, on Amazon. I'm a writer working on my fourth book. I live in the Twin Cities with my husband. Between us, we have four children.

6 Comments on You know you have autism or Asperger’s if…

  1. I have a 7 yr old daughter that has been diagnosed with aspergers. She just finished 1st grade and tests academically as a 3rd grader. She is socially challenged and very shy. I work full time so day care is a nightmare for her. What can I do to help her understand that the bullies will be around for life, she has got to stand up for herself and/or walk away. The hardest part for me is seeing her self esteem compromised. Changing day care is not an option, we have tried several.
    With love and kindness, Cynthia

  2. Oh man, small talks are the worst! I always try to avoid them. And always have. It’s so funny to read that other people are also having problems with them.

  3. Tom,
    For 40 years, I wondered why people talked “dumb,” yet they weren’t “dumb.” I wondered why, when there are so many interesting things to learn from people, they said trivial things. Since I met hubby, I have been learning that people need time to lead up to “getting to know” someone, then revealing personal stuff, without information. I still don’t get it, but that’s the way it is.

    [WORDPRESS HASHCASH] The poster sent us ‘0 which is not a hashcash value.

  4. I know what you mean, it’s more efficient to just cut into the important information, common interests and such. and the food thing is in order of which food gets cold first, so temperature degradation.

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