I'm not weird. I have SPD by Chynna Laird

Talk about echoes of my childhood and my present with my Sensory Processing Disorder (a.k.a. Sensory Integrative Dysfunction).

In the book, I’m Not Weird, I have SPD, author Chynna Laird uses descriptive words like:  hurt, screamed, pain, and scared. Those are words that I use to this day as an adult with SPD.

Sensory overload still erupts in a flight or fight response that makes me want to scream and run away.  What validation and relief I would  have felt if such a book had been written was I was a girl.

How lucky her daughter is that she has the SPD diagnosis.  In the book the fictional girl goes from the hurting words to words of relief.  Her parents are able to help her, and they accept her the way she is.  In my heart, I know that had there been an SPD diagnosis in my childhood, my mother would have read this book to me.

As a parent of a child with SPD, we hadn’t known about it in “his” younger years.  (My child does not wish to be identified.)  “He” hated to be touched.  Like in the book, he had to be taught to accept a hug, but only a certain kind–the very tight ones.

Later he learned that touch can soothe also, but always hard touch like a massage when I push my palms hard into his back muscles and neck.  I had to do that every night for years so he could get to sleep.

This book is too late to read to him, but it is perfect timing for so many parents who wonder what is wrong with their children.  It’s as much of an education for them as it is for the child, since, in parts of the book, it is written from the child’s perspective, so parents may be able to relate to their child a little bit more.

I must admit that when I first read it, I was sad–very sad.  I remember the pain, literally and emotionally.  One event stands out in my mind.

Forest Park Elementary School was a radical idea in the 70′s.  It was an open concept school, meaning children could move from class to class depending on their skill level in a particular subject, which my mother thought would be better for me rather than skipping any more grades.  But, the classes had no walls; it was literally an open concept.  The 360-degree noise burned my senses until one day, I freaked.

I ran to the bathroom and sat in the corner and leaned against the wall.  With my fists clenched and my body in a tight fetal position, I rocked.  The breath coming into my lungs hurt.  My head hurt so badly that my vision blurred.  A teacher found me and carried me to the front office where my mother picked me up.  At home, I hid in my room for hours until the pain abated.

After this happened many times, I was dubbed as having migraines.  Now I know that I don’t have migraines and likely never did.  It hurt; I screamed in my head for help; I was in pain; and I was very scared.  Yes, I did get teased.  My mother was mystified, and I remember her face looking scared too.  The doctors said there was nothing they could do.

If you know a child who screams, hits, hides, runs away, or has other unexplained outbursts, read about Sensory Processing Disorder.  If the child is diagnosed with this disorder, buy I’m Not Weird, I have SPD so the child can feel a sense of relief too.

Chynna Laird’s Website
Chynna Laird’s Blog

Related posts:
360-degree Noises
Family TV Watching and Autism

I love fixations, and I revel in them.  The world may say, “Do something useful,” “Talk,” or “We’re doing this now,” but it is deliriously heavenly to fixate.

I fixated on a draping palm tree when I was in San Francisco with my mum last year.  Staring up into that tree was wondrous.  The randomness and symmetry at the same time fascinated me.  I stared.  I made myself dizzy by walking around and around underneath it.

Of course, by walking without looking down, I tripped, which is typical of me.  Just today, I have a bruise on my collar bone from a door jamb I walked into this morning, and this was after coffee.

This tree was truly amazing.  After tripping twice, I sat on the bench under the tree and stared in one spot.  I could see how the fronds worked in a pattern.  Between two fronds, was one frond higher up and again and again.  I sat there making sense of it, just enthralled.

I heard the people at the pool talking about me staring at this tree.  I have learned embarrassment, so I left.  Maybe fortunately, because I was on the way to get a coffee for my Mum, and I got distracted by the tree, so of course, I forgot why I was even outside.

Distraction.  I do it to this day.  I’m doing it right now.  I’m focused on blog posts, not because they have to be done, but because I can’t stop thinking of things about my autism for the blog.  I love writing to you.  You’re a great listener.

I’ve had to get over embarrassment to even write in this blog.  “Hey, I have High-Functioning Autism!” is not something I would have screamed from a mountain, let alone tell the world and you.

I learned some about embarrassment from my fixations.  I remember hearing with a sneer, “What are you doing?” “What are you staring at?  I don’t see anything,” or worse, someone would say, “Hellooo” as they waved a hand in front of my eyes.

But, I’m 43 now, so I have learned to be more confident and stare up into trees, like a blissfully oblivious child.

Dentist? Relax with your weighted blanket.

Pressure on the body from a weighted blanket can relieve anxiety at the dentist’s office. For years, many people have enjoyed the weight from the heavy vest worn while getting x-rays at the dentist’s office as commonly known from a multitude of subjective accounts. Now they can get that relaxing feeling by wearing a weighted blanket.

A media release about a new study to be published in the Journal of Pediatrics says that a relaxing environment, including weight on the body, significantly relieves stress at the dentist’s office. Dr. Michele Shapiro of the Issie Shapiro Educational Center and colleagues from Hebrew University in Israel studied the effects of the sensory environment on a child’s anxiety levels during two separate routine cleaning visits to the dentist.

The release reads, “For many children, a trip to the doctor or dentist is a stressful experience. The sensory environment (i.e., the sounds, smells, and lights associated with the clinical setting) can cause a child’s anxiety levels to rise. This is especially true in children with developmental disabilities who may have difficulty understanding the unfamiliar clinical environment.”

This reaction is similar to Sensory Processing Disorder. SPD is a neurological disorder involving smell, hearing, pain, body position, taste, visual, temperature, and the body’s position and movement. The brain receives all this stimuli but can’t make sense of it so it can react normally.

The release continues, “The first trip included the typical sensory experiences of a dental office, including fluorescent lighting and the use of an overhead dental lamp. During the second trip, however, the researchers created a sensory adapted environment that modified the experience of the children. No overhead lighting was used, a slow moving repetitive color lamp was added, and the dental hygienist wore a special LED headlamp that directed the light into the child’s mouth. The children listened to soothing music and were wrapped in a heavy vest that created a “hugging” effect.”

The “hugging” effect is a type of sensory calming called proprioceptive input, which is pressure on the muscles and joints. Proprioceptive input sends signals to the brain that cause serotonin to be released, which is the neurotransmitter in the brain that makes people feel happy. An increase in serotonin causes natural melatonin to be released in the brain giving even more of a feeling of calm.

A more comfortable way to induce the “hugging” effect is by using a soft and pliable weighted blanket. Parents and dentists can use a toddler- or child-size weighted blanket on the child to soothe the anxiety from dental procedures.

Dentists and parents can get these weighted blankets from Cozy Calm.

Photo by Trudy Loosman. So sensory sensitive, I can feel air.

Sensory Processing Disorder or Dysfunction, also known as, Sensory Integration Disorder is a neurological disorder involving smell, hearing, pain, body position, taste, visual, temperature, and the body’s position and movement.  In short, the brain receives all this stimuli but can’t make sense of it so it reacts normally.

Linda C. Stephens, MS, OTR, in an article entitled “Sensory Integrative Dysfunction in Young Children” stated, “The ability to attend to a task depends on the ability to screen out, or inhibit, nonessential sensory information, background noises, or visual information.”

Here are a few examples from my own experience:

I seem to take in all stimuli and not filter them out.  I’ll say, “That noise is horrid” while others in the room will say, “What noise?”  They were focused on listening to each other or watching and listening to the TV.  They filtered out the “extra” noises, whereas I don’t.

When we go out and go sing karaoke, I usually ask the karaoke announcer to turn down the treble.  If it is too high, I’ll feel frozen and wanting to escape, my head will start to pound, all the other noises will seem super loud, I feel confused, and I find it hard to focus on what people are saying to me.

And that’s just noise.  Add in the other senses and I can be quite confused, agitated, angry, and frightened, or I have already left the room.

Who gets it?

Many places on the internet will say the disorder affects children with no mention of adults.  But, the disorder has only been growing in acceptance lately, so adults with SPD were never diagnosed as children.  They may or may not have learned to deal with the stimuli better than they were when they were children or, they continue to be affected.  Occupational therapy clinics that offer Sensory Integration Therapy are seeing a growing number of adults seeking treatment.

Often Sensory Processing Disorder will be present with conditions such as Autism, Asperger Syndrome, ADHD, and others.  But, SPD can and does exist in people who do not have any other conditions.