Are we preaching to the choir?  Which means, are we talking about autism awareness to people already in the autism community?

Granted, this creates a sense of togetherness, makes us feel good, but does it reach people we want to be aware of autism and to help them understand and accept autism?  I write this blog, which I hope helps parents of children on the spectrum to understand that I was a non-verbal child and still gave my mother grandchildren.  Well, I did give her headaches as a teenager, but she has long forgiven me.

I spent 20 years in public relations (PR), primarily as a strategist, and I was good at it, so I view the whole autism awareness and acceptance concepts from a professional perspective also.

What about those people “out there” who have likely heard the word “autism,” but have no clue what it is, and what our community faces?  What do they know about the divisiveness in our community?

Some of those people see the highly publicized “light it up blue” campaigns for Autism Speaks.  But, if I were one of those people not aware of autism the way we are, what does it mean that the Empire State Building is lit up with blue lights?  I would think, “Oh pretty.” and keep walking without enlightenment or acceptance.

In the PR world, a campaign such as the blue one requires multiple “impressions” on people’s minds, so there is a tiny chance that the passers-by would connect autism and the blue Empire State Building.

Now, take the Autism Society’s quieter approach that does not focus on fundraising, but works with real-life autistic people instead.  Many in the autism community support them because they are focused on the autistic person, not a cure.  Those who raise money for Autism Speaks support research for a cure.  Changes in legislation for autism-related issues, they both do.

So, those people, who don’t know about these sorts of distinctions such as the one between Autism Speaks and The Autism Society, will only pick up on the messages that resonate with them without distinction based on the factions among us.

It comes down to the promotion of the fittest.  An example would be Jenny McCarthy, actress, Playboy model, who has pushed the concept that vaccines cause autism.  She is the ex-girlfriend of the actor Jim Carrey, who has an autistic son.  So, she has the pull to do the round of talk shows pushing this theory, even though the research on this concept was debunked.

So, those people out there may have seen Jenny once and believe that vaccines cause autism without knowing more on the subject.  Since then, I know of two families who have chosen not to vaccinate their kids because they fear the risk of autism.

Goodness, I don’t know the answers because there aren’t any.  Again, we’re split into factions and divided we fall.

One thing we all agree on is the concept of autism awareness and autism acceptance.

My next blog post will be about what I have done to educate with ideas of how you can too.  Hint:  I have access to the media.

The pervasive thought that people with autism don’t have empathy is not true for me, and I suspect not true for many or most autistics.  Lack of empathy is in the realm of psychopathy, and I am not a psychopath, as others with autism are not.

So, when the bombs in Boston happened, I felt.  I felt a lot.  I felt pain in my chest and stomach because people had lost limbs.  I felt sad that people in Boston and across the country feel unsafe like I did.

Is that empathy?  I don’t know how to define empathy.

My mother has always said that I am extremely sensitive emotionally.  I feel so much, so fully.  What happened in Boston upset my world, not just for my own safety and the safety of my family, rather, it’s the experience of people at the race, in Boston, in the country that upsets me so much that I can hardly think.

My mind turned to my daughter who works in downtown Minneapolis.  Will she be safe?  Intellectually, I know Minneapolis is not a likely target because we don’t have anything as iconic as the Boston Marathon or the World Trade Center.  Though, that evening I had to drive my son downtown to the bus station, so I worried for his safety also.  When we arrived downtown, the streets were packed with people arriving for a Twins baseball game.

Every intersection had a police officer directing traffic.  But, what was different was the increased police presence that was not directing traffic.  Was it actually increased or was I more aware of them due to what had happened?  Regardless, I was glad for their presence.  I was reassured.  Though in reality, if there was a bomb already, the police would not likely make any difference.

My son is safe in Fargo where a terror attack is 99% not likely to happen.  My daughter starts work in 30 minutes–downtown.

I feel the nervousness that I assume others would be feeling, not just in Boston, but around the country.  I’m sick in my stomach.  Is that empathy?  Does empathy mean equating my feelings with the feelings of others?  Is empathy more that I try to fathom what others would be feeling even if they are not the same feelings that I have?

I know that I feel a lot.  I am very sad for people who lost limbs, for family members who are horrified, and for people like me who were not directly affected, but can’t help to feel the insecurity and pain.

The screech of garbage trucks.  The squeal of little children screaming.

Those hurt.

It feels like a scream in my brain that I can’t escape.  Hearing the sound once makes me jump and hurt.  If the sound goes on and on, I feel angry and feel like crying.

You see, I’m sensitive to high-register noises, so I like my world with a little more base.  I wish the garbage truck companies would get brakes fixed.  I wish our neighbor would tell her daughter to stop screaming outside for prolonged periods, though I know that is what little girls do so I’m not faulting them for it.  But, she screams for as long as her breath holds out then starts again.

But, I can’t say anything to the parent because she would be angry with me, so I close the windows, but I want the windows open, so what do I do?  The garbage truck companies, they won’t care if their brakes annoy anyone–they would hit “delete” on my email.

Other times, the treble sneaks up on me when I am not aware yet of the source.  As an example, I have been nervous and unhappy when I’m in the car with hubby.  I didn’t want to drive with him at all.  I starting evading it by doing errands by myself.  But, that isn’t good for us, since with our work schedules, doing errands together is a little time together.

It turns out that the avoidance was of the radio.  Now, we drive with the radio off and I am suddenly quite happy driving with him.  When he wants the radio on, which is always, he turns down the treble and ups the bass.

I hadn’t clued in to the source of the avoidance and irritation because I used to listen to loud music in my old car when I drove alone.  Now with my Ford Explorer–my work truck–I turn the treble waaaay down and crank the music up in surround sound.

If you are new to sensory processing disorder (SPD) visit the SPD Foundation.  SPD almost always occurs with autism, though SPD can often exist in non-autistic world.